The Strength of Weak Ties

Unfortunately it’s these type of events that exponentially serve to drive us further away from the world you and I grow up. I’m reminded of the efforts of things such as werentoafraid.com and others that fight hard to maintain the goodness and freedom that many remember. Instead, typically and understandably, the reaction is often to place more restrictions, more fear in the hearts and realities of your young people.

To me that’s what’s tragic. We live in a world full of evil and that’s not likely to change. But to constantly respond by adding more security and restrictions is not the answer I’d choose.

As someone who lives in a relativity safe place where kids still walk to school by themselves, there are no security guards in schools and we walk downtown at 11PM at night, I want to keep it that way.

As you say, there’s no way to prevent it, we have to grieve, that’s part of life. We don’t have to perpetuate fear.

Beautifully said.

And it is sadly, in these stories, it is our own children turning on each other.

Connections are so important. When we were younger, we were all responsible for each other. You couldn’t misbehave without knowing another adult in the store, or on the street would say something. We raised our children as a community.

We have to extend our hands in hope. We have to “see” our students in the hallways. We have to build community within our schools.

We have to keep our own faith and not live with fear, but with faith in the goodness of people. And I know our students must feel angry that they don’t have this kind of world, that they have to worry….I feel angry for them as well.

I don’t want to see us as a culture accept this as the nature of things. I want us to believe that things can be better, and that we can each make a difference for a child somewhere, somehow.

Thank you for this eloquent tribute, David.

[...] We have to have a vision of once was and  what could be. [...]

I, too, am remembering my youth this morning –

I remember riding my bike 7 miles to school each day, across busy streets, through a huge park….we were more worried about the bike than my safety.

I remember trick or treating and grabbing the pillow case at 6pm and getting back at 9pm and my parents knowing that we were safe because we were in “our neighborhood.”

I remember teachers that were able to hug me for a job well done and I remember going to a male Sunday School teacher’s home on an occasional Sunday for lunch and no one thought anything possibly perverted about that.

I remember being dropped off at the mall with 8 friends on Saturdays to ride bumper cars all day and no one considered that we were a gang but just a bunch of kids having some good safe fun.

I, too, have my memories –

But what is on my heart today is the reality that what happened yesterday just proves again to me that people are placing such a devalue on the human life.

The fact that someone felt that they needed to walk into a room and cut short the life of so many people is beyond senseless to me.

I am wondering where we (and not just educators, but teachers, clergy, friends, etc) stopped teaching our students how to deal with conflict and hurt and disillusionment and rage.

My heart is sad this morning for those who have lost loved ones. My heart is sad this morning for what could have been the story for each of those which are no longer with us. My heart is sad for another tragic ending.

But my heart has hope – that perhaps this will open our eyes to a student at our own school who perhaps needs to be noticed and listened to and helped before something horrid happens on our own campus.

Excellent post, David. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.

Deepest sympathies to all those involved in the NIU tragedy. As a University of Illinois alumnus, this hit far too close to home for me.

Being born just 5 years before David Jakes, I vividly remember all that he does…baseball, the creek (I went through 3 sets of clothes some days when my mother finally had enough!), Ben Franklin’s and cherry phosphates, gas prices, McDonalds and Red Barn. Before the ice melted, I remember playing ice hockey every day after school until it was too dark to see any more. What incredible memories.
Why the change? A vacuum has been created in our culture where pluralism is valued more than a world view that holds to truth. Instead of there being something absolutely right or wrong, the shades of gray in which we allow our young people to live and grow come back to haunt this society when one suddenly finds no reason to continue living and determines that another’s life has no value either. What a tragedy to let our children and young people grow up in a place where they can find no purpose, contentment or peace. It is there for the taking–and we need to point the way!

I remember when I wasn’t allowed in the house during the day. We had to stay out until lunch…then out until dinner….then out until the street light came on. I used to ride my bike ALL OVER town. Everyone knew my business. All of the mothers in the neighborhood kept track of me (not just their own children). People in my neighborhood talked to each other. I also remember eating dinner with my family around the table. Praying before meals. Playing cards to determine who does the dishes. Playing baseball all day in the street…with no real equipment. Making up games and enjoying them. I do my part to instill values in my son. Where is the fine line between teaching your child to be friendly and viewing the world with a critical eye? I will not lose my freedom by being afraid of the world I live. We have a great responsibility as educators to share values with our students.